Three Words for 2013: Move, Measure, Meditate

My friends Chris Brogan and C.C. Chapman are vocal proponents of the practice of choosing three words as your focal point and reminder of goals for the coming year. The challenge is to narrow your annual objectives to three words that serve as guideposts to remind you and keep you centered on the things you have decided really matter.  I've tried to master the art of three words a few times in the past, but not every year.  In fact this year I've chosen to focus more on being in control.  That said, there are three words that I do think I should put at the top of my list this year.  As a faithful, fervent fan of frequent alliteration my three works all start with the letter M:

Move.
Measure.
Meditate.

Move.  In many ways, movement is the secret to all success.  We must increase our movement to be healthy.  We must always keep our mind moving to stay sharp.  We must always keep our careers and relationships moving forward.  For a shark, ceasing to keep moving is a literal death sentence.  For a human, lack of movement leads to stagnation, to depression, to frustration.  In 2013 I want to keep moving.  From literally running for exercise, to advancing personal and business goals, constant and positive movement will be key.

Measure.  We live in the age of big data, and as someone who never really was a numbers guy, I've come to gain an appreciation for the value of measurement.  It started with an obsession with fitness trackers.  I wear both a Fitbit and Nike Fuel Band every day, and I pay attention to the data they provide, relishing in the satisfaction of measurable results, and enjoying the discovery of patterns and new personal records.  Now I want to apply that same appreciation of measurement to track and monitor my progress and results in areas beyond fitness, and especially in business.

Meditate.  Over the summer I was inspired to revisit practicing meditation, something I began in High School but let go of sometime after graduating from college.  Over the past few months I've been sporadically trying to reestablish TM as part of my daily routine, but it hasn't quite stuck yet.  It's a shame, because when I do manage a nice stretch of a few weeks of consistent daily meditation I can tangibly feel the results in my improved energy and awareness, and just plain feeling better.  So, as part of my mission to take better control of my time, I want to make the time for meditation each and every day.

There you have it.  My three words for 2013.  I won't go so far as to tattoo them to my forehead, but I will write them on post it notes, and in my notebooks and hope to refer to them regularly as gentle guides toward a productive and fruitful New Year.

How about you?  Have you selected three words?

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The Impact of Amazing Things (A Double Whammy Book Review)

The Impact Equation behind this post is to prove to you that Amazing Things Will Happen.  It is true.  I have seen it.  In fact, the authors of two books I recently read are living proof.  Let me explain...

The Years Before Their Overnight Success

I have known Chris Brogan, Julien Smith and C.C. Chapman since long before they were all best-selling authors.  I have had many opportunities to have quality, eye-to-eye conversations, and manly hugs with them all (though not necessarily at the same time... but a man can dream, can't he?)  I can honestly say that I have broken both bread and wind with each of them (though they were likely unaware of the wind part...)  I have watched firsthand as they have each come into their own as bona fide successes, making an impact on a huge community and living amazing lives full of amazing people and experiences.

Ok, What About The Books?

The books I recently read are "The Impact Equation: Are You Making Things Happen or Just Making Noise?" by Chris and Julien, and "Amazing Things Will Happen: A Real-World Guide on Achieving Success and Happiness" by C.C.  While I could happily review each of the books separately, it dawned on me that these friends and authors are actually perfect examples of the tenets espoused in each other's book.  C.C. has (consciously or not) actively fulfilled the promise of Chris and Julien's Impact Equation, building a large and active community who happily and whole-heartedly support all of his business and creative pursuits.  Chris and Julien are natural born practitioners of the short, smart life tips that C.C. so eloquently recommends.  They are the personification of Passion Hits.

C.C. Has Solved The Impact Equation

In their book, Chris and Julien break down their "equation" for Impact into the acronym CREATE: Contrast, Reach, Exposure, Articulation, Trust and Echo.  According to the authors these six attributes are at the core of what leads to success in today's connected, content driven world.  As I read their detailed explanations of each of these traits I can see how C.C. Chapman has embodied the spirit of exactly the behaviors Chris and Julien are presenting.  C.C. lives by the acronym CREATE, and as The  Impact Equation portends, by doing so C.C. has indeed made an impact, and leveraged his growing influence to create a life where amazing things happen.

Chris and Julien Make Amazing Things Happen

In his book, C.C. guides us with practical advice presented in short spurts.  Little purpose driven chapters that each make a resonant point.  There are many "aha" and "of course" moments, made pleasantly palatable by C.C.'s calming, conversational voice.  His warm personality leaps from the page as he breaks down, chapter by short chapter, the simple ways you can free yourself from fear and habit to leave yourself open to attract (and appreciate) the amazing things available to us all.  Chris Brogan and Julien Smith have done it themselves, and they've proven that C.C.'s welcome words do work.  C.C. says "Passion Hits are people who are able to make a living doing what they love."  This most certainly describes Chris and Julien (and of course C.C. himself).  As I read the chapters such as "The Power of Writing It Down" and "Learning To Say No" and "Rules Are Like Rubberbands" I could easily imagine Chris and Julien as avid followers of C.C.'s guide.

What's In It For You?

Both of these books are written in a personal and conversational fashion that makes reading them quite enjoyable.  Both books also provide practical "assignments" you can put to work while reading the book to help guide you on a path to making an Impact and enjoying the Amazing Things that can and will happen.

Read them, and let me know if you agree.

Disclaimers:  As noted, I consider all three authors to be friends.  I've worked with Chris on the blog Dadomatic, and C.C. and I are two of the five co-hosts of the Cast of Dads podcast.  You can assume I can't help but be a little biased because I like and respect all of these guys.  With that in mind, feel free to take my review with a proverbial grain of salt.  But really, the books are well worth reading!  I received a free "review copy" of both books, but since I prefer digital reading I also bought the Kindle versions of both books on my own dime. Lastly, the links to the books in this post are Amazon Affiliate links.

      

My Three Words: Ask, Focus, Prioritize

My friend and fellow Dad-O-Matic cohort, Chris Brogan, has been espousing the merits of "three words" for at least three years (if not more), and I have always avoided jumping on the bandwagon...until now.

The idea behind "three words" is perhaps simpler than the traditional "New Year's Resolution" routine, and thus, perhaps, we'll be more likely to retain our commitment to "three words" well into the remainder of the year and long after we have resolutely given up on our resolutions. Your three words are intended to be guideposts...  to serve as directional inspirations you can refer to at all times to ensure that the intent and spirit of your current goals and objectives are leading you down your chosen path. You set your goals. You are in the driver's seat to execute them. Your three words are there to remind you why you may have set such a course for yourself and how you intend to make it so. With that in mind, my first goal of 2011 is to give "three words" a shot. Therefore, herewith, I present...

My Three Words for 2011:

ASK. This little three letter word is very powerful. Used properly, ask can help you gain - gain knowledge, gain responsibility, even gain more business and money. Whether you are asking for the sale, or asking because you don't know, an important lesson to learn is that "if you don't ask, you don't get!" A short time into my first job out of college I had the chance to go on a business trip assisting the Founder/CEO of the company, who was also my boss. We were at dinner in a foreign land and I was thrilled to be on my first business trip. Perhaps feeling a bit full of myself (or perhaps feeling the effects of one of my first experiences with a "good" bottle of wine) I blurted out to my boss, "I think I should get a raise!" He looked at me, surprised. Then smiled, and said ok, and told me what my new salary would be. He also said it was really too soon for me to get a bump in pay, but since I asked... After all, he continued, "If you don't ask, you don't get, and that's a good lesson for you to learn." He was right, but over the years I have often forgotten the importance of asking. Therefore, one of my words for 2011 is to ASK!

FOCUS. When I was graduating High School, my English Teacher, Mr. Pospisil, who was greatly admired and respected, wrote some very nice things to me in my year book, but in the middle of all his encouraging compliments, he also said, "Don't spread yourself too thin..." At the time, I thought it was odd, but over the years I've come to recognize how prescient his words were. I like to think that I am good at many things, but as a result, I do often do too many things at once, and as Mr. P perhaps predicted, many times I have indeed found myself in the predicament of having been spread too thin. It is something I am aware of and know I need to work on, so my second word for 2011 is intended to help me heed the words of my High School teacher and FOCUS. Focus on what's important. Focus on what I am doing at the moment. Focus on what will actually "move the needle. Just FOCUS.

PRIORITIZE. My last of the three words is partially related to number two, FOCUS, but I think it is strong enough to stand on its own as word of guidance for 2011. We live in a busy world, constantly connected, constantly fed data, information, images, news, entertainment, advertisements, buzzes, beeps, tweets.  We juggle jobs, family, friends, hobbies, finances, fitness... a LOT of stuff. To plow through it all sanely and successfully it is essential to effectively PRIORITIZE. To make order out of life's potential chaos, we need to put things in their proper order. I want to work much harder and better at prioritizing in all aspects of my life, and thus I have prioritized my three words for 2011 to be sure to include PRIORITIZE.

So, there you have it, my three words... What do you think?  Do you have three words that will guide you in 2011? I had to ASK! :-)

Photo Credit: © .shock - Fotolia.com

Everything I Know About Twitter I Learned In Grade School

I am proud to call Jeff Pulver a friend, and as a friend, I am very proud of Jeff for the incredible 140 Characters Conference he put on at the New World Stages in New York City on June 16th and 17th. A standing room crowd witnessed a parade of 140 impassioned speakers and panelists, ranging from seasoned broadcasters such as Ann Curry to globally famous musicians such as Wyclef Jean, to internet and blogging rockstar regulars such as Chris Brogan, iJustine and Gary Vaynerchuk. It was a motley medley of thought provoking panels and presentations, and while Twitter and micro-blogging may have been the impetus for the event, the resulting discourse went much deeper than one would expect from 140 characters. As Jeff himself explains, the conference really was about "exploring the state of Now." Even if you were not in New York on June 16th and 17th you can now explore the state of now and all the content from the inaugural 140 Characters Conference as Jeff will be re-broadcasting video of the entire event on June 29th and June 30th right here.

My own contribution as a character in the conference was a short presentation I called "Everything I Know About Twitter I Learned In Grade School!" In short, in Twitter, as in Grade School, there are certain basic things that will help you to be successful:

• Give the Teacher an apple! (give of yourself)
• Hang out with the cool kids, and make friends with them...
• Listen!
• Share!
• Raise your hand in class and participate!
• Don't be a tattletale!
• Do your homework!
• Show up! (attendance counts!)

Do the above and you too can go to the head of the class and be a successful Twittizen!

The video of my entire presentation is embedded below. I'd love to hear what you think of it in the comments. Now, class dismissed!

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Dad-O-Matic Day!

It's Father's Day! If you have found your way here to Sassholes today I encourage you to take a moment and click over to www.dadomatic.com to read some great posts written by dads (and the occasional mom) for dads. For the past 40 weeks I have been a regular contributor to Dad-O-Matic, and I am very proud of the writings there, by myself and almost 80 other contributing dads. Dad-O-Matic was founded last year by uber blogger Chris Brogan, and is managed day to day by a great paisano, Doriano "Paisano" Carta. At Dad-O-Matic every day is Father's Day, but as today is the real thing it is the perfect day to visit and read some great posts from a cool collection of daddy bloggers!

Here is an excerpt from my "Giving And Receiving On Father's Day" post at Dad-O-Matic:

As a dad myself, Father’s Day is always a double whammy – I get to honor my own dad, and all he has meant to me, and I get to be honored by my own kids and take some special time with them to reflect on what it means to be a father. We learn so much, and are influenced so much by our parents, yet I don’t think we realize how truly and deeply entwined we are until we become parents ourselves. As a dad, especially as my kids have grown older, I see my father in myself in so many things I do. More surprisingly, I am not alone in this discovery and apparently my kids see it too. ”Dad, you are just like Grandpa” has lately been a fairly common comment from my kids to me. I consider it a compliment!

You can find all of my Dad-O-Matic posts here.

If you are celebrating with your kids or with your dad, have a wonderful Dad-O-Matic Day, er - Father's Day!

The Road Warrior

So far this year I have had a crazy travel schedule, and thus I have not been contributing to Sassholes! as much as I would like. Over the past few months I have been to Las Vegas, New York (twice), Connecticut, Seattle, Chicago, Dallas, Portland, Los Angeles, Austin, Houston and next week I will be back in Los Angeles and Las Vegas. Along the way I have had some great meetings, met with some great friends and shared some great times. Here is a quick Animoto video with some pictures I have taken along the way. You might spot some folks you recognize including Chris Brogan, Jeff Pulver, Chris Heuer, Alex Harris, Alex DeCarvalho, Pete Cashmore, Joseph Jaffe, Greg Verdino and Akon! Enjoy.

Bitter Bloggers: The New Better Business Bureau!

Emeril Lagasse may be a famous chef, but his restaurant in Orlando, Florida SUCKS!

There, I said it, and in doing so I have joined the ranks of folks with a blog who have used their social media platforms to air complaints against companies and services that have have not held up their end of the merchant/customer bargain. I am in good company. Well read bloggers such as Joseph Jaffe and Chris Brogan have all been pushed to the brink and then used their popular platforms to blast businesses that FAIL them as customers.

Now it is my turn, and this time it's PERSONAL!

My girlfriend is taking Culinary classes at Johnson & Wales University (where my son is also a Junior) so "chef talk" is commonplace in my world, and we like to check out well-known chefs and restaurants whenever we have the opportunity. With that in mind, since we were spending Christmas at Disneyworld in Orlando and we had never been to one of Emeril's restaurants, I made reservations for Christmas dinner at Emeril's Orlando. What should have been a pleasant and enjoyable evening turned into a culinary catastrophe that left us hungry and disappointed.

Service With A Smile?

All started well, with the Maitre'd seating us and the THREE "servers" who would be our caretakers for the meal pleasantly and professionally introducing themselves to us. Despite having THREE servers at our beck and call, Emeril's Orlando managed to do something that I have never experienced in my entire life of dining. Yes, folks, I am not a picky person at all, but this was truly a first (and the last time we will eat at an "Emeril" establishment).

I am a vegetarian and often end up ordering "off the menu" if there is no vegetarian entree choice. This is rarely an issue and, as expected, the waiter confirmed that the chef would be happy to prepare a grilled vegetable plate for me. Perfect. My girlfriend, who is most decidedly NOT a vegetarian, happily ordered from the menu - a ravioli dish. We enjoyed our wine and salads, and noted that the wait for our entrees had seemed to cross the line into the territory of "taking a bit too long" but hey, it was Christmas and we were certainly not in any rush.

The Order and the Disorder...

When our food finally did arrive, it arrived with this shocker: they did not have the ravioli Sue had ordered (FROM THE MENU) so they had taken it upon themselves to go ahead and prepare an alternate dish for her. WTF? With no warning, and no opportunity to simply choose something else from the menu they decided to serve her a meal that had no relation whatsoever to what she had ordered. The "substitute" dish was a poorly presented slap-dash mix of flat ribbon noodles, some grilled vegetables (that were likely stolen from my vegetable plate) and a thin veil of plain tasting tomato sauce. Huh?

One of our three servers explained that they ran out of the ravioli she had ordered and she should "taste" this dish and if she didn't like it she could order something else. Huh??? Now, with my food already served and her "surprise" dish in front of her, Sue could decide to wait another half hour for something else, so that she and I could effectively dine alone, me eating while she is waiting, and she eating while I digest... But I digress...

From Minor Error to Major Fail

Needless to say, Sue did not like the odd off-menu choice that had been made on her behalf, nor did she care to watch me eat while she waited for something else. The apologetic spokesman for the restaurant appeared to be the one of our three servers who, sadly, had a speech impediment that was getting worse by the minute due to his nervousness. As he spit, sputtered and stuttered his embarrassment at the mistake (I am NOT exaggerating) and offered to remove the cost of the unwanted entree from our bill, we assured him it was not his fault (though, of course, in part it was). Despite our very vocal dismay, none of the on duty management visited our table, and we had to go to the front desk twice to air our complaint to the same Maitre'd who had so nicely seated us, and who claimed to be one of the managers. He was useless, and offered no explanation or excuse, and simply said, "we took your entrees off the bill, what else do you want me to do?" MAJOR FAIL. You are supposed to make us feel like a valued customer.

What we wanted, was a decent enjoyable meal. One that, in fact, we were well willing to "overpay for" (based on other folks' reviews of Emeril's). Not paying for something we did not eat and did not enjoy (or even ask for) is hardly a substitute.

What Happens Anywhere... Ends Up On Twitter!

So, we paid for our wine and salads, and left Emeril's Orlando hungry and wholly disappointed. In the old days, that would have been the end of it. Instead, standing outside the restaurant I began my blogger's revenge with this simple Tweet.





And now I am following up my Tweet with this blog post. If in doing so, I have saved one person from having a similar dining disaster, then my work here is done. Thanks for reading, and for letting me vent.

What do you think? Is one's personal blog a valid place to air such complaints? Is the "Bitter Blogger Bureau" the new "Better Business Bureau"? Should it be? Please share your thoughts in the comments, and of course, if you have your own Emeril's experience or opinion, please share that as well.

Photo Credit: © Hugh O'Neill - Fotolia.com

Dad-O-Matic: Where Every Day Is Father's Day

Hello, my name is Jeff and I'm a Dad (Daddict?)

I am the father of three (and master of none...) The greatest joy of my life has been to watch, participate, influence and, to the best of my ability, guide ZEO (my nickname for the clan - short for Zachary, Ethan & Olivia, in birth order) as they have grown from tiny bundles of cute, to teens and young adults. Today they are truly wonderful citizens that make me enormously proud on a daily basis. If everything else I do in life should fail, I can sleep well at night knowing I have done my part in bringing three great additions into our world.

With that in mind I am very pleased to have been invited to be a contributing writer for a terrific new blog created by Chris Brogan. As one of the original "Rock Stars" of the world of blogging and social media (and an extremely good person, a true "Mensch,") Chris has assembled an impressive squad of Geek Dads to share their views and experiences on fatherhood and parenting. I am honored to be among them and invite you (actually, I encourage you) to visit Dad-O-Matic and enjoy articles, reviews and opinions on a wide range of topics and from varying points of view, all with an important common thread: being a Dad.

I hope you will read my first contribution to Dad-O-Matic, The BUXX Stops Here!, as well as the other great posts from the rest of the Geek Dad Squad!

UPDATE: I will continue to add links to my Dad-O-Matic posts here:

The Real “L” Word

How To Tell A KILLER Scary Story

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Face It, Facebook Works Well As A People Directory!

As you may know if you go back earlier in this blog, I live in South Florida and used to be an avid sailor until Wicked Hurricane Wilma wrecked my boat... Back at the time I posted a bunch of photos of the storm's damage to my home and boat on Flickr and tagged them "Wicked Wilma."

I recently received the following message through Facebook from someone who I don't know and who is not a Facebook friend:

Jeff, I sent you a message already on Flickr but I am trying to get in touch with you seeking permission to use one of your photos in our 2005 Annual Report to Congress. I am trying to find a photo from hurricane Wilma to include in our pub. Please let me know if you are interested.

I thought it was telling that I noticed the message via Facebook, long before I received the email through Flickr. My Flickr account is tied to a Yahoo Mail address that I hardly check on. Facebook, on the other hand, is always open in a browser tab, and has an extremely efficient mobile alert piece that forwards messages right to my Treo via SMS.

The Real Story

More telling was the fact that the person trying to reach me figured out that, when he received no reply to his message via Flickr, he could potentially find me through Facebook. And he did, successfully. The picture above is the image that prompted the search for Sass.

In business, it is often difficult to find a working email address for someone you don't know, and many of the services that do provide contact info, do so for a fee. Facebook provides an easy and open means of making contact with its members. A powerful feature when properly used and not abused.

Have you been contacted randomly through Facebook? Have you successfully made contact with someone you were trying to reach through Facebook? Do all these questions make this sound like one of Chris Brogan's blog posts???

Facebook Is Viral Viagra

The infamous blue pill may get things going in the bedroom, but if you want to get things going in Cyberspace it seems all you need is to get some Facetime on Facebook!

I am an avid Twitterer and a good Twitizen, but I don't get too many @sass or D sass messages. I have had a personal blog since 2004, but I rarely get even 1 comment on my posts, despite toiling over every witty and pithy sentence (at least in my mind they are witty and pithy). Yet I put a video on my Facebook profile and lo and behold, I am suddenly "viral." Granted, I put some work into the video production and I "tagged" Chris Brogan, which gave me a jump start with his active following. And now Jeff Pulver was kind enough to link to my video from his well read blog. That said, as I watch the comments grow and add many new found Facebook Friends, I can see just how well the "virality" (that's viral vitality) is built into the Facebook platform... and it really does work. When someone comments on my video it appears in their profile and news feed for all of their friends to be exposed to. If one of their friends then comments, it goes out to their circle... and on and on and on.

In many respects, this is the power of a "closed system" as opposed to the "open" Internet at large. For a "regular guy with a regular blog" like me, posting on this blog is like putting a message in a bottle, tossing it out to sea, and hoping it will drift to shore where someone may notice it and respond. Posting on Facebook is like going around your neighborhood and sticking a flyer in everyone's mailbox. The flyer in the mailbox is much more likely to be read than the message in the bottle!

Thankfully, I am not yet in need of a "virility" boost from the little blue pill, but I will happily enjoy the "virality" boost I have gotten from Facebook!

UPDATE:
(For those of you not in my neighborhood on Facebook, here is the aforementioned video)